Does positive thinking have any disadvantages? Tell me, what are they? Do you know them? I do and that is why I wrote them down. I am going to give you three disadvantages of positive thinking. Hopefully by the end of it you will remember to use them when someone says stay positive.
I try to see the bad in things. I try to be the voice of the devil and I believe that tearing things down is the best way to see somethings value. I will guide you down a road that will show you that positive thinking isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It has a dark underbelly that we will explore.
You Become Mentally Weak
Do you want to be mentally weak? Positive thinking has some things going for it but you didn’t come here for me to praise it you came here to watch me tear it down.
Positive thinking says that it is better to feel good than bad. It wants to protect you against the demons that come when you feel hate, anger, rage and soul crushing sadness. It teaches you to focus on the good and to see the good in the bad.
The problem is that by seeing the good in the bad we don’t see the bad in the bad. If you didn’t get that after reading it twice you should be worried.
How To Become Strong
How do you become mentally strong? A completely valid question that no one answers. Before we answer it though I want to explain what I mean by that term “Mentally strong”. During the course of this article the definition we will use is that a mentally strong person has the ability to resist and function in spite of being consumed with negative emotions.
What do positive thinking gurus recommend you do when you are consumed by hate and rage? The most common advice I have seen is to disarm the negativity and to try to consume yourself in positivity.
I hate how contrived that sounds.
The problem with that answer is that by trying to disarm the hate through distraction and redirection you never truly deal with it. Not in a lasting way. You may feel good for a day maybe even a month but when your mind remembers and wakes up you will be left sitting in a cesspool.
The Answer To The Question
In all those words and yet still I haven’t truly answered the question. Why does positive thinking make you mentally weak?
The simple answer is this, when you never truly dive deep into the feelings, the black hate, the boundless all consuming rage and the vile disgust that seeps into your bones. You don’t learn how to deal with them and work despite the fact that they are dancing around in your head like wild baboons.
This makes you weak.
When there’s a ghost in your mind that slithers around. When your heart is encased
by the chains of fear. When your soul wants to run away from your body and your words come out in disarray and still you have the strength to function. To work, to play and to act as if you are sane as if you are one with the clouds as if you have seen heaven.
If you can be as cold as ice when a wildfire rages within than you are strong. You are the apex of control and your mind is stronger than Phrik.
If you can’t tell already this mental strength is one of the most important emotional skills you can have because it will make you immune to negativity. That means you don’t need any tricks or loopholes to deal with your emotional issue. Can you comprehend just how freeing that is? How much easier that makes dealing with your emotions. How much happier you will generally be.
Rant About Feelings
People assume that feelings are things that you can control. In a sense that is true but in the sense that most people use it is false.
When you say to your friends that you are feeling grief they tell you to cheer up as if you had a button that did just that. What they fail to see is that you have no tool available to you that will make you happy in a short period of time.(*Cough* Drugs *Cough*)
Feelings come and go at their own leisure. Sometimes they hang around in your mind and cling to it like leeches. No matter what you tell yourself they are their until one day you give up. You stop trying and this just feeds them making the cycle continue.
How To Handle Negative Feelings
The right way to handle such a situation is to wait and observe. Watch the feeling while trying to understand why you are experiencing this feeling. Turn the negative experience into a learning one while maintaining its nature. This makes the negative feeling good but not positive.
There is something you can control. That being how you let the emotion manifest in your actions. This is hard. Really really hard and it will take years to learn if you truly work at it but believe me it’s worth it.
Your body doesn’t lie. Your body language for the most part tells a story and that story is usually a reflection of what is going on in your mind. We could get into the nuances of faking body language but for the sake of brevity I will not.
The two main points I was trying to get across is that you can’t control how you feel(nuanced). The second point is that you can control how you act(nuanced).
You Don’t Grow
This is a point that is simple to explain. If you take a moment to think about the positive thinking approach you would find that what you are doing is finding ways of focusing on the good feelings. By good I mean feel good not morally good.
What you are by definition neglecting is the negative aspects. These “negative” aspects are in fact very beneficial for us when it comes to personal growth. A counter argument that could be made is that positive thinking encourages you to look at these negative aspects and extract the growth opportunities from them.
My rebuttal to that point would be that without diving into those feelings you will not be able to get the growth opportunities.
The Nature Of Feelings
All feelings communicate to us something because ingrained in those feelings are our core beliefs as well as our perception of reality. By digging into these two factors we will get to the root of the feeling.
Once we have that it is as simple as convincing our minds of that, that either the root doesn’t matter or the root is false. If we manage to do either we have now successfully gotten rid of an feeling or changed it into something different.
This process is slow gruesome and incredibly painful. The process is very negative but the outcome is very positive but because the process is very negative many people will not be willing to go through it.
By going through this process and becoming fast at it you grow. You grow in the sense that from the day you learn this skill you will never again fear your feelings. You will not avoid them and diving into them and dealing with them will become second nature.
This ability to deal with your feelings effectively is an amazing boon to you and should make all the pain and sacrifice required to get to that point worth it.
What I am trying to get across in my long winded prose is this. If you think positive you will avoid this process. If you avoid this process you will not be good at dealing with your feelings. If you aren’t good at dealing with your feelings you will be ruled by your feelings. If you are ruled by your feelings than you will not be happy.
Denying A Part Of Yourself
This is by far the biggest point for me. By not acknowledging the negative aspect of yourself you are denying a part of yourself.
You are your feeling. This is true because your feeling are the way you’re mind is reacting to your emotions. These emotions are a part of you and will continue to be tell the day you die. You’re whole life is planned around them and when you disavow a whole spectrum of emotion you are calling dysfunction to yourself.
Feeling are the things that make you human. They are an aspect of yourself that makes life enjoyable and pleasant. On the other hand they bring endless misery and pain. They are the highs and the lows. Without one the other loses meaning.
That is why I think that you shouldn’t ignore/neglect/degrade/demean negative emotions. This the greatest downfall of the positive thinking movement and by far the largest disadvantage to positive thinking.
Negative emotions drive you they make you change. They also change you and teach you. Those who forsake them and cut this piece of themselves out will lose something very precious.
Although it is true that negative emotions are defined by how they make you feel never forget that isn’t all they are. They have many more uses and many more functions.
Feeling Bad Is Good
I have now shown you that feeling bad is good. Dark feelings are something that happens and not diving into them is a mistake.
By continuously making that mistake you deny yourself the chance to grow. To learn where it originates from and to then overcome it. It is a hard long road to emotional mastery but one worth walking.
Positive thinking is flawed. I have told you why now use your voice to tell me what you think not how you feel.